Relearning Self-Care

Relearning Self-Care: A Gentle Reminder for Women Carrying It All 

By: Krys Poindexter 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and instead of jumping on the wave of wellness buzzwords, I want to have a real conversation — from one woman still figuring out self-care to another. Like so many of us, I wear a lot of hats: mother, professional, friend, helper. These roles pull me in different directions daily. The world feels heavy, the pressure is constant, and many of us are quietly burning out while trying to hold it all together. 

Lately, I’ve noticed how often I come last on my own list. And even when I carve out time for myself, guilt shows up. Shouldn’t I be doing something more productive? Is needing rest selfish? 

But here’s the truth I’m holding onto: Self-care is not selfish. It’s survival. It’s what keeps us grounded and allows us to show up for the people we love without losing ourselves in the process. So, if you’re anything like me — tired, stretched thin, and relearning how to nurture yourself — I want to offer you grace, compassion, and a few simple reminders that I’m trying to put into practice myself: 

1. Start small and stay consistent. 
   Self-care doesn’t have to mean spa days and retreats. Some days, it might mean drinking a glass of water, taking a deep breath before the next task, or stepping outside for five minutes of sunlight. The little things count. 
2. Say “no” without guilt. 
   Your “yes” means more when it’s not driven by obligation. Boundaries are a powerful act of self-care. It’s okay to cancel plans and change your mind. 
3. Speak to yourself kindly. 
   Your inner voice matters. When you catch yourself being harsh or critical, pause and ask: “Would I speak to someone I love this way?” If not, soften your tone. 
4. Schedule time for yourself like you would an appointment. 
   Even 20 minutes to read, stretch, journal, or simply rest can make a difference. Treat that time as sacred and non-negotiable. 
5. Reach out, don’t retreat. 
   You don’t have to carry it all alone. Talk to a friend, a therapist, a support group — whoever feels safe. Connection is healing. 

You are worthy of rest, you’re allowed to pause, and you don’t have to earn peace. Let’s be honest, when we ignore our needs for too long, the cost is more than fatigue. Burnout can leave us vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and even substance use when we seek ways to cope. 

So, if you’re running on empty, please don’t wait. Reach out. Talk to someone. Take the break. Choose the outlet that restores, not one that depletes. 

You deserve more than survival. You deserve to feel whole, free, and well.